


Pressing His Luck

by fortheloveofSchitt



Series: Patrick Brewer the Texting Troll [2]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Epistolary, Humor, M/M, Patrick Brewer is a Troll, St. Patrick's Day, Texting, Trolling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 14:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30090810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortheloveofSchitt/pseuds/fortheloveofSchitt
Summary: David getting trolled on St. Patrick's Day with ridiculous memes.
Relationships: Alexis Rose & David Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd & David Rose, Theodore "Ted" Mullens & David Rose
Series: Patrick Brewer the Texting Troll [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2209872
Comments: 39
Kudos: 117





	Pressing His Luck

**Author's Note:**

> I enjoyed doing the Valentine's one so much I figured why not do another holiday.
> 
> Thanks to my friends for encouraging these shenanigans.
> 
> BWR thank you for the hand holding & brainstorming.
> 
> Januarium thank you thank you thank you for the help with making my texts so pretty and not a hot mess like I had them.

# Patrick

####  **Today** , 7:13 AM

Patrick
    

David
    No. No no no no no. We are NOT doing this again Patrick!

Patrick
    Oh come on David, it’s MY day!

David
    We have been over this many, many times. St. Patrick’s Day is not YOUR day. 

David
    Saint Patrick's Day, or the Feast of Saint Patrick, is a cultural and religious celebration held on 17 March, the traditional death date of Saint Patrick, the foremost patron saint of Ireland.

Patrick
    Potato potahto 

* * *

# Stevie

####  **Today** , 2:47 PM

Stevie
    Happy your husband’s day.

Stevie
    

David
    What did he offer you? 

Stevie
    I have no idea what you are talking about David. I just want to celebrate Patrick with you.

David
    I hate you. 

Stevie
    

David
    Whatever he is giving you I will double if you stop this. 

Stevie
    Deal

* * *

# Ted

####  **Today** , 3:25 PM

Ted
    Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!!

Ted
    

David
    You do realize you aren’t texting Alexis, right? 

Ted
    Of course!

David
    Uhh, ok well then thanks? 

Ted
    

David
    Please tell me Patrick picked these out for you to send to me. 

Ted
    No way bud! I picked them out all on my own.

Ted
    

David
    Ok Ted. I think we are done here. 

* * *

# Alexis

####  **Today** , 3:55 PM

David
    Your boyfriend is hitting on me again. 

Alexis
    

Alexis
    Time to celebrate my favorite brother!

David
    Oh for fuck’s sake. 

Alexis
    Oh relax David. Patrick deserves a day about him for once. We both know every other day is all about you.

David
    Go choke on a potato. 

* * *

# Troll

####  **Today** , 4:30 PM

Patrick
     [ **JibJab** jibjab.com ](https://www.jibjab.com/view/make/get_your_green_on/81c2ac4e-64e3-443b-aeb2-0c14c04b58b2)

David
    I refuse to click on that. 

Patrick
    

Patrick
    I don’t think you are allowed to refuse me on my day, David.

David
    Fine. 

Patrick
    

David
    To be clear I am not doing this because I agree that it is “your day.” 

Patrick
    Noted.

David
    What the actual fuck Patrick?! 

Patrick
    I think this may be my favorite part.

Patrick
    

David
    I want a divorce. 

Patrick
    Are you going to threaten to divorce me every holiday?

David
    That depends, are you going to do this every holiday? 

Patrick
    

David
    I’ll take that as a yes. 

* * *

# Troll

####  **Today** , 9:42 PM

Patrick
    

David
    Bedroom. Now. 

Patrick
    

Patrick
    If the bed is sham-rockin', don't come a-knockin

https://www.jibjab.com/view/make/get_your_green_on/81c2ac4e-64e3-443b-aeb2-0c14c04b58b2

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I am an almost 40 year old woman who has way too much fun making ridiculous Jib Jabs. That is what happens when you have been working from home for a year.


End file.
